Tuesday, 7 March 2017

19 Things You've Probably Done If You're a Blogger

Because apparently we all like avocados and rose gold anything, FYI - I do like avocados and I am partial to a rose gold soft furnishing but that is beside the point.

1. Frantically turned to Google for absolutely everything that you have no idea about, I cannot be the only one to be dumbfounded by Domain Authority, PR disclosures and Instagram algorithm, what does that even MEAN??

2. Wondered how people's email inboxes are so exciting they feel the need to tweet about it every 14,51203 seconds, anyone that boasts that their inbox is bursting with invites, press releases and sponsorship offers are possibly lying, my inbox mostly consists of Prezzo two for ones and introductory deals for Viagra, how bout you?

3. Invested in an expensive camera only to realise you still don't know anything about exposure, shutter speed or ISO, oh so this is why photography degrees are a thing??

4. Looked for new content in everything you do, annoyingly 9 times out of 10 you end up with pages and pages of unfinished drafts because your life is not as exciting as your Instagram profile makes it out to be.

5. Constantly refreshed your email inbox and then discovered that the good stuff sometimes accidentally lands in your spam box so you'll probably start refreshing that too.

6. Bought avocados, Acai powder and fresh flowers because Pinterest told you too.

7. Considered spending £80 on a full length mirror because you don't have a boyfriend or a full time photographer to follow you round 24/7 who is willing enough to stand on a street corner taking photos of your new bomber jacket, even if you will reimburse them with Starbucks

This one is deffo on my wish list.

8. Used Twitter Polls to help make those mega important life decisions because adulting on your own is just too hard.

9. Been ridiculously temped to put something in your Tinder bio which may suggest you kinda just want a temp photographer boyf who knows his way around a DSLR, possibly one that also owns a DSLR.

Pretty face is a bonus.

10. Tried sitting in Starbucks on your own with a new notebook ready to smash out an award winning to-do list and about a weeks worth of content but in reality found out just how incredibly fucking boring it is.

11. Bought things purely because they look good in a flat lay, I have at least 3 small plants knocking around the house that haven't been watered once yet look beaut next to my new makeup revolution palette.

12. Taken one look at a post on SEO and instantly gone back to Youtube to soothe your poor frazzled brain.

13. Wondered why you're template just never looks finished.

14. Stared at a blank white screen for about 23 minutes before realising blogging is harder than it looks.

15. Contemplated a trip away by yourself to get some decent instagram content, anything has got to be better than sitting on your backside eating chocolate taking photos of your dog.

16. Apologised profusely for disappearing, going off the radar and not posting anything at all for all of 48 hours, how very dare you.

17. Realised that re-arranging products on your kitchen floor is now your life.

18. Wondered what you are supposed to call yourself, a blogger or an aspiring blogger? How many followers do you even need before you can safely say you are a blogger without sounding like a big headed princess.

19. Googled 'how to become a full time blogger' before realising it's not as fabulous as you thought and you're kinda alright ta.