Friday, 20 January 2017

Things To Tell Yourself When You're Struggling With Self-Confidence

You know those days when you literally look in the mirror and your just like FUCK,
I look like a sack of shit.

I'm doing it right now, I definitely have to go to work soon but today and I am just gonna roll with it.

I'm gonna let that gorgeous cystic spot do it's thing on my cheek, it's made a friend now so would be rude to disturb it. I'm gonna let that stray hair growing out the small mole that sits next to my chin be cause lord knows where I put the tweezers and the false nail that fell off when I tried to put on my tights this morning?

I keep seeing little things, tweets mostly, not aimed at others but aimed at ourselves. I know we all say you need to be super supportive of everyone and as a community I think we do a bloody good job, pretty sure we could single handedly defeat Trump if we tried. What about yourself though? Rather than tweeting about how shit you look, how much weight you've put on, how disgusting your cellulite is or how the xmas cheese board gave you cystic acne, put your phone down and show yourself a little bit of love. Put on a face mask, run a bath, read a book, do whatever you want, just be a little more gentle with yourself.

Destructive thoughts are just that, thoughts. They are not facts.

I love the quote, 'would you talk about someone else the way you talk about yourself?'
The answer is probably no.
Think about that.

At the age of 21 I have finally accepted that my arms are naturally a bit on the flabby side and that no amount of arm exercises I do will ever change that because god help me I have tried.
Well, maybe that's a lie. I did a 3 minute arm workout everyday for a week, then my period came and I couldn't be bothered, but the point is, I comfort eat like a bitch and as much as that irritates me it's not something I feel I have much control over, food makes me happy, pasta, cheese, pasta and cheese, the carrot cake from Costco I'm currently eating, it all makes me happy and whether that is right or wrong it is a fact. I shouldn't give a flying fuck what people would or wouldn't think, naturally I do a little but that's kinda okay too because rather than trying to change it, rather than feeling like I need to push myself to be accepted or seen as being beautiful I just don't care anymore, that is me and that it okay.

I could change and start exercising so my arms get thin but in all honesty I don't want to, that's my choice and I am more than happy to live with that choice. Self confidence is not just about accepting how you look, it's about accepting that you are the only person that you have to answer to, if someone else doesn't like something about you then that's their problem.

All of the sass.

The truth is my appearance is not just what I look like, it's how I feel, it's my worth, it's what I think about a good 48,23190 times a day, it takes over my life and the more and more I let it the more dangerous it gets. I have a horrible relationship with the mirror but then I believe we all do, my whole life I've had insecurities and body hang ups and I don't ever expect that to change, if you spend a lifetime seeing something a certain way it's bloody hard to change that. Now I know it's not necessarily about changing those things you don't like, because lets face it there would only be something else soon after that you despise, it's about changing your mind set, changing how you view those insecurities.

It's hard and the insecurities are never gonna completely go away but this is a good place to start.

1. Social Media Is Beautifully Deceptive

I see you there hiding behind that 63% brightness and 23% contrast, it's great that we can just filter out all of the things we don't particularly like, the fact my forehead crinkles a little when I smile, not cute. That's just it though, we edit but so does everyone else. There is not one girl on social media that would choose not to enhance their features if they could, if you're out there then please speak up and I will applaud you. I'm not talking about spending hours on Photoshop I just mean making some kind of a change to a selfie, social media is deceptive and it's kind of just one big fat porky pie.

You see my profile picture on the top of this page, I put it in black and white because it's the most flattering, unfortunately in real life I am just in colour.

2. A Rose Can Never Be a Sunflower, and a Sunflower Can Never Be a Rose -
All flowers are beautiful in their own way.

This is one of the most beautiful quotes and I try to live by it every day, hard when I'm scrolling through The Daily Mail and all I see are Victoria Secret models frolicking around on a beach and then there's me with brow dye slathered on and a dodgy fake tan but alas, I am still a flower and so are you.

3. Your Worth/Beauty is Not Determined By How Many Likes You Get on a Selfie

We all feel it, the rage that burns up inside you when the photo you took of your dominoes got more likes that the one you took of your face. "Well then, I must be fucking ugly"
No silly, pizza is just really beautiful.

But seriously, why do you care? Would people say Gigi Hadid wasn't beautiful if she only got 10 likes on a selfie? No. It's all just numbers, not opinions, not views, not how much you are worth, just numbers on a screen.

4. Being Beautiful is Not The Same as Being Happy

Being content with who we are as a person is so much more than being a size 6 with a gap between your thighs. It's about being happy, happy enough to eat a doughnut and enjoy every last mouthful without feeling sinful, focus on fixing what's going on in your head before you try to change yourself.

Because girl, I promise you, without even looking -
You are a beauty.