Tuesday, 15 November 2016

11 Realistic Goals That Will Genuinely Make You Happier

Hygee has been doing the rounds quite a bit recently, in one day alone I think I read about 50,4563 posts on it.

True fact.

To be completely honest I'm kinda over it, although I was never that keen in the first place.
As much as I love the idea of a Jo Malone candle and a fluffy H&M cushion being the answer to my eternal happiness, I just don't feel all that convinced.

And it kinda got me thinking, what does make me happy? I like food (obvs) and I like pretty sparkly things and I LOVE pictures of meerkats and those Youtube videos with the cats that sound like they're talking, but when those moments pass, and as depressing as it is to say, I go straight back to stressing over my 23 thousand million un-read emails.

So I came up with these, a list of the things I am gradually doing and putting into place to make myself a happier person in general, not just quick pick me up's like taking a Lush bubble bath or painting my nails but actual meaningful small changes to the way I think and the way I feel towards myself.

Kinda like my own Hygee just without the soft furnishings.

1. Learn To Be Offline

As much as we all LOVE twitter and instagram and pretty things on pinterest and OMG have you seen Hannah Gales new blog??? Sometimes you just gotta step away from your phone, as wonderful as it is, it's also the breeding ground for anxiety, FOMO and comparison, all of which make you feel shitty.

You know what doesn't make you feel shitty? A good book and a cuppa tea.

2. Find Out What You Love NOT Who You Love.  

This is my biggest learning curve of 2016.

I am so done with pinning my happiness onto other people, imagine having your everything invested into that one person who at any moment could tear it all down,  it's like a game of Jenga, weirdly exciting yet stressful and unpredictable. It takes breakups, heartache and betrayal to realise that people aren't the bee all and end all, I have learnt that as much as I love having someone in my life, they should be an addition not my sole focus.

Find something that makes your heart skip a beat and do it everyday. Volunteering at a school, learning to play an instrument, I know financially we can't all afford to ditch the 9-5 but it doesn't mean that your job has to be all there is to you.

Mine was this blog, cost absolutely nothing and probably saved me in so many ways.

3. Understand Your Finances.

So I just spent £300 on a new camera and I have car insurance due in a week so I am totally not the poster girl for sensible right now but in my defence I needed a pick me up and a KitKat just wasn't cutting it.

I have finally sorted out my money to the point where I can go a bit mental and splash out once in a blue moon without having heart palpitations and hot sweats, not because I'm suddenly rolling in it, simply because I've become a little savvier, by which I mean I no longer waste money on shit I don't need that doesn't make me happy, ie nights out and wine.

I also gave up on my 'dream' of earning from my writing and instead have just accepted that for now I needed a 9-5 mundane job, well it turns out I bloody love mundane. I know they say you shouldn't ever give up on your dream and I totally agree, you shouldn't, but I do also think you need to be realistic, I might now be in an office job and writing unpaid on the side but I'm finally financially okay. I don't stress about my monthly direct debits and honestly that is a nice feeling.

You won't get anywhere if you're losing sleep over missed bills and outstanding payments.

4. Ditch The People Who Feel Like Hard Work 

You know the ones who make you feel bad for the tiniest thing, who make you feel like everything you do is wrong, it's bloody exhausting. So what if you forget to reply to a text, we all do it and really it's not a big deal, if you have a friend who feels like hard work then she probably is hard work. Ditch them, I promise you will feel a weight being lifted.

5. Find a Hobby

Not something stupid that your mum made you do so you wouldn't become a hermit with no social skills, something COOL and super interesting that makes you wanna run home from work.

It could be something so simple, if you really have no idea then maybe just try swimming once a week, or buy one of those adult colouring books it's super relaxing and super good for you, literally just do something for YOU and don't stress if you have no clue what that even is, it will come to you one day.

6. Use Comparison As Motivation

I feel like I bang on about this a lot but I honestly feel like it's helped me from being the kind of person who gives up and accepts that I'll never be as good as someone else to someone who uses that feeling of jealousy to really motivate me and give me that kick up the arse I need. Don't get me wrong there are certain times when I feel like my online existence is so irrelevant I may as well not bother, or I spend 3+ hours trying to take ONE decent photo and it's still not in focus and it just all looks a bit shit. Blogging is hard and yeah it's kind of an open invite to judge and be judged but looking past that it's also the most amazing supportive community to be a part of. Someone else gets given all the sponsored posts? She probably worked her arse of for it so rather than sitting there feeling deflated and useless go and be BRILLIANT.

It's down to no one but yourself.

7. Make Your Health a Priority.

We spend so much time worrying about silly stuff like insta themes and which lipstick we need to buy next but really it's not until we actually have a bit of a health scare that we realise how much we take our physical health for granted.

The main focus is usually our mental health and as much as I agree that that is super duper important I also think it is equally important to be focusing on your physical health. I don't mean go and eat a salad and jump on a treadmill, I mean look after yourself, sleep, don't binge drink or smoke and start to understand your family's medical history.

You never appreciate a clear nose until it's blocked, so don't take your physical health for granted.

8. Let Go of Finding Perfection

You know when you catch the tail end of Jeremy Kyle and you sit there realising that your life is actually really quite all right, take that moment and use it to remind yourself of that when you're feeling like nothing is going well for you. I firmly believe that if something is meant to be it will be, as much as I want to be working full time as a writer I understand that for now I am just not meant to. One day for sure but not right now and rather than wishing my life away to get to that moment, I'm trying to enjoy where I'm at.

Rather than thinking of life as a journey to this amazing place, consider that you may already be there.

Whose to say the grass is ever really greener.

9. Trust Your Gut

You know when you know something is bad but you just choose to ignore it, much like when I spend £50 on a pair of trainers and then chose to avoid opening my bank statement.  I'm pretty sure I can count on both hands the amount of times I've made that mistake, I've stayed with someone, trusted someone, or nodded and kept my mouth shut even though there's that niggling feeling inside of me telling me otherwise.

That little thing is your intuition, it literally knows everything and it has totally got your back.

It's cause we are rarely wrong, of course you don't wanna believe that someone could let you down or betray you but the truth is sometimes you need to stand up for yourself and know your worth, no one should EVER make you feel anything less that fabulous, so don't just ignore it.

10. Remember That You Are Not Meant To Be Perfect 

Pretty sure I spent the majority of my teenage life striving to be someone I am not, god help me I've spent over £200 on eyebrow treatments for Christs sake and my brows still aren't flippin' Cara Delevigne-esque. I now fully accept that I am just not meant to have bushy arse brows and you know what I am A-OK with that.

It takes growing up and getting a bit older to realise that you don't need to be perfect and why would you even want to be, it's absolutely exhausting. The little things you see as flaws, sure they may still bug you, but they don't define you and they don't take away anything from your worth.

There are numerous things that I often wish I would like to change but in all honesty if I was given a fairy godmother who could wave a wand and change my small boobs to D cups, shrink my rather large forehead and soften my button nose, would I actually let her?

I probably wouldn't and not because I love those things but because they have made me who I am for 21 years now and to be honest I'd be a teeny tiny bit sad if I didn't have them.

11. Get Out Of The House, Especially On Sundays 

I swear there is something about Sundays that makes me wanna eat shit and wallow in the depth of my duvet.

You know that time around 4pm when you start to feel reflective of life, wonder why you exist, wonder who you're gonna marry ect ect, yeah it's no good for you. Roast dinners and cuddles on the sofa with your dog are good for you but so is actually getting up, chucking on a jumper and leggings and throwing your hair into a messy bun, and don't spend hours perfecting it, a messy bun can literally just be a messy arse bun and that is absolutely fine.

Plan things, see friends, walk the dog, go to Tesco and buy a new magazine, treat yourself to a Starbs, just literally leave your house.

You only get two days off in the week, what a waste to spend one of those sitting indoors all day.

Go CONQUER the world <3