Wednesday, 26 October 2016

First Taste Of Negativity In The Blogging Community


I am so on this girl solidarity at the minute, what with little mix making me feel like being single is bloody fantastic and the woman of the world uniting to confront the absolute tit who believed a woman's period comes from her bladder, I feel like we've got each others backs and I LOVE it.

Sadly this girl power doesn't quite extend across the whole community, the vast majority are complete gems, they leave the sweetest comments, help you out with SEO, wordpress migration and all that crap. They are basically your internet big sister and you love em, especially when they give you a shout-out and tell you how bloomin' ace you are.

But then other people suck.

The people you would literally cross the road to avoid.

Except when they're on social media you kinda can't escape them, like a bad smell that won't go away so you frantically spray a can of febreeze all over the place, you can mute them but they still manage to pop up again.

They stomp down on everything positive, everything good and they purposefully make you feel shit, inferior, not good enough, whatever you wanna call it. I actually never believed that there was any form of nastiness within the blogging community, I feel like if we all gathered in a room together it would be like when you go into a ladies bathroom in a club, everyone absolutely loving life, chatting about boys and periods and borrowing each others deodorant. It never really occurred to me that some people just purely wanna rain on your pretty little parade.

So you don't have a custom template and your pictures are a bit on the dodgy side, who the fuck cares. At least you're not a jealous bitch who puts other women down just for the fun of it. What the hell ever happened to women sticking together, not body shaming, not pulling apart and scrutinizing everything about them, the way they dress, the way they speak, the size of their body, it's disgusting. Sure sometimes I feel a bit crap because 'eugh whyyy does she have such a gorgeous face and the perfect boyf and her hair is as shiny af' but I don't voice that, I keep it to myself and I tell myself to just get the hell over it.

Last night when I was scrolling through Twitter as one does, I came across a bit of a dispute, you probably saw it yourself to be honest it was pretty much all over my timeline and it got a lot of really well known bloggers talking, more so than tampon boy. Obviously I had to read through the 12,423981 tweets just so I could get the low-down and see what all the drama was about because HELLO gossip.

Well I kinda wish I hadn't.

It made me see a side of blogging that I don't like, a nasty side. Why should the word nasty ever be used in association with blogging, it shouldn't, we are literally all doing the exact same thing, some people have just been doing it for a bit longer.

A whole dispute went on regarding a woman associated with the rather huge blogging network 'The Bloggers Hub', there were claims that the account had paid for the majority of their followers and it was basically a bit of a fake, how true this is I do not know but when you have blogging babes like Grace Victory getting involved to back it up it's kinda hard not to take note. The real argument was regarding a few comments made on plus size bloggers from the woman associated with TBH from her personal account, really quite nasty and not at all called for, the kind of comments that belittle women and cause a lot of hurt, not really behaviour you would expect from someone associated with such a hugely popular account. We all have these pretty blogs with templates, fancy headers that you've prob paid someone to design ect but behind that blog is a person, just a normal, bog standard person who has feelings.

I'm not sure of the ins and the outs, I'm not sure what what was said exactly and I'm in no place to tell you to unfollow them or not take part in their chats, it's just kinda like finding out your new friend is actually a bit of a bitch, it sucks.

I haven't personally been victim to any hate as of yet but perhaps my time will come. Of course we can't all be the bestest of friends all of the time, I can be known to roll my eyes when I see yet another designer bag collection style video on Youtube, they do irritate me I can't lie but then when I think of the reason as to why I don't like them I can't really think of one, so I don't try too. I have a coffee and I get the hell over it, so what if I don't have a designer bag and she does, my world is really not going to end. I catch myself on those days and I remind myself that I don't know that persons background, I don't know how hard she has worked and I don't know how long it took her to get there.

The difference is you keep those things to yourself.

I may have fan girled a teeny tiny bit too much when Hannah Gale recently liked and commented on my tweet. Well I screenshot the evidence and put it on my snapchat story then I realised no one will prob know who she is and I'll look like an absolute knob so I swiftly deleted. I shouldn't have though I should have shouted it from the rooftops if I wanted to because she is such a lovely human being and there is nothing wrong  in cheer-leading from time to time, it's not sucking up to someone it's just supporting them and making them feel like they are AMAZING because they are. I had the loveliest tweet today from someone telling me how much they loved my recent post, those things just make me wanna burst with happiness.

It's come to my attention more and more over the past couple of weeks that  we need each other to grow not only as bloggers but as people. The more I take part in Twitter chats the more obvious it's becoming how amazing our community of bloggers really is. You make it what it is, we all do. Most people are fab, just doing their own thing, it's just a shame that you get the odd one who throws shade but we are such a tight knit bunch I really don't think anyone would ever be on their own should they fall victim to a blogging bully.

At least I really hope not.

We deal with enough crap in day to day life without blogging becoming a headache or a place you can't feel safe, that's what I love about it, it's open to everyone and everyone is equal.

I honestly believe being nice will get you so much further.
So go and be a babe, find a post that you ADORE and show it some big fat lovin' or just shout out your fave on Twitter because hey, it's a free country and you totally can.
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