Friday, 15 July 2016

20 things I know at 20

At 20 I can appreciate that I don't know everything but then hey who ever does.. but that doesn't mean I haven't lived. I have experiences, thoughts, feelings and an understanding of certain situations that people also may or may not have been through. I've been feeling quite reflective recently and have put together a little list of the things I have learnt in my 20 years on this earth, mostly as a reminder to myself that these things are important and in the grand scheme of things sometimes you need to just let things go, breathe, stop stressing and try to make the most of it.  I still probably don't have a clue but I'd like to think we all just hope for the best and focus on putting one foot in front of the other each day just the same as everyone else. So here's to being clueless!

1. You need to learn to be okay on your own.
This one is incredibly important to me right now, I am currently learning to be okay on my own and although I'm not feeling my best about it I'm getting there. It's a journey that we all need to take sometime but I have faith that if you can be happy by yourself then you will have a lifetime of happiness.

2. Friends don't always want the best for you, let those ones go.
I've lost friendships that I thought would last a lifetime and it's never a nice feeling to lose someone close to you but in all honesty I think sometimes you need to realise that people don't always have your best intentions at heart. The friendships I've lost were because I was lied to and betrayed, quite honestly I don't need that in my life, neither do you. Don't be scared to stand up for yourself, you deserve people around you who love and cherish you and those that do will be there for the long haul.

3. Boys can be stupid but you don't need to put up with it.
I always tell myself I'm still young, there's still time to meet the one, but then I think does 'the one' actually even exist for any of us. My friend once said "boys are all twats, you just need to find one that's a twat that you don't mind tolerating", solid advice right there!

4. If something is meant to happen, it will happen.
Leaving something be is often the best advice there is. If something is out of your hands and out of your control then keep it that way, if things are meant to happen for us then they will and if they aren't then there will likely be an even better path mapped out for us. When I feel a little lost and overwhelmed I always tell myself this and it really does make me feel a little more relaxed.

5. Save as often and as little as possible.
At 20 my savings account is incredibly poor and really I am slightly ashamed, mostly because I keep transferring my savings to my bank account so I can buy things from the Topshop sale... I have learnt though that really you do need to save, for those last minute adventures you want to go on, for those crazy girls holidays and for that house that I will one day have to buy.

6. Smile even if you don't feel like it.
Faking it in all honesty can sometimes be the best way, what's the alternative, sitting in your room, refusing to see anyone? What kind of a life is that for yourself.

7. Don't forget to be kind to yourself.
Being kind to myself means driving to Tesco and buying the biggest tub of Ben and Jerrys available whenever I get the urge to. Listen to the little voice inside of you and give in to it, if it makes you happy it's important and you should just do it!

8. If he hasn't text you first, find someone who will.
Seriously, if he can't be bothered to text you then he just isn't worth it. I don't mean go all crazy on him if he hasn't replied after 10 minutes but if he doesn't make you feel loved then don't put up with him. There is someone out there who will love you so much more, don't take away that chance from the guy who could be perfect for you.

9. Primark is both a blessing and a curse.
It will lure you in and it will make you buy things and then you will tell yourself it's actually okay because it's Primark and its cheap and yeah heck who cares, buy the shoes if you want to.

10. Anxiety is not something to be ashamed of, it's important and it should be spoken about.
Just because you don't have panic attacks and a fear of social situations it doesn't mean you don't have anxiety and it doesn't mean people won't take you seriously. Only you know what's going on in your head and it's important you address it if you need to.

11. Don't forget to read, being in someone else's head is a magical thing.
Reading is one of those things that is so important. You should never just live your life in your own head or you will go insane, delve into a book that will take you to a completely different place even just for 10 minutes each day, it's such an amazing escapism.

12. You are not Zoella, as much as you wish you were, you are just not.
Let's all sob together shall we. But seriously, don't forget that she only ever shows you the parts of her life that she wants you to see, she is human just like the rest of us and she probably sometimes eats ice cream from the tub and cries into her duvet just like the rest of us, probably.

13. Invest in your skin, you are stuck with it forever after all.
Clean and Clear is the devil. Don't be fooled into thinking that cheap ingredients from boots can fix your face. It's mostly down to diet, water intake and sticking to a simple but quality routine. It took me a long old time to figure that one out but with the help of Caroline Hirons I got there in the end.

14. It's okay to get smashed and make a fool of yourself - sometimes.
It's absolutely okay if you need to shake your booty in the middle of the club and throw your white wine spritzer down yourself to have a good time, we have all been there. If you haven't then I salute you, you are a better human than me.

15. Don't panic if you don't have a life plan.
Does anyone actually know what they are doing? Absolutely not. We all just stay afloat and hope good things will happen.

16. Googling 'how to heal a broken heart' probably won't heal your broken heart - time heals everything.
No one has the magic answer, you will feel shit but just go with it, ride that wave and come out of it a better, stronger and fiercer woman. Then maybe post a hot instagram selfie and watch him weep as he curses himself for letting you walk away.. he doesn't have to know you filtered the crap out of it.

17. Going on the pill is never a decsion to be taken likely - it also didn't give me bigger boobs :((((
The pill causes depression, anxiety and sometimes makes you vomit, sure you don't want a baby but please consider the alternatives and think about the decsion, it's not just a quick fix. It took me about 2 years to find one that didn't make me chronically depressed and it really wasn't a fun journey to be on.

18. Tea in your favourite mug does make most things feel 13,464x better.
Whoever said tea makes things better was telling you the complete truth, it just does. It wont change the world and it wont wipe away your tears but it will feel like a warm hug from a cuddly teddy bear. Or is that just me?

19. Winged liner is just not meant to be worn by those with hooded eyelids.
I tried, it didn't work and unfortunately I have the pictures to prove it... and so does Facebook because apparently when you're sixteen it's such a good idea to post a selfie every single day for the world to see even when you literally look like you've repeatedly been beaten up.

20. Life is just beginning, if things aren't how you want them to be now, they will change and they will be amazing.